Morton Grove Champion

‘Rules of the Road’ offers a funny read

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Paul Sassone

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Updated: January 24, 2013 3:40PM

It was called “1,001 Jokes,” or maybe it was “Jokes For All Occasions.”

I don’t remember, exactly.

It did have one of those gray covers libraries glued on books after the original covers had worn out. I would check out that book for two weeks, return it and come back a half hour later and check it out again.

Then I would pester everybody.

Hey, mom. What time is it when your clock strikes 13?

“I don’t know,” my mother would absently reply as she mashed the potatoes.

Time to get a new clock!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Even back then I was a would-be, pint-sized Rodney Dangerfield.

Hi, dad. How was work? Do you know why a fireman wears red suspenders?

“Grzlmmph,” my father would grunt as he opened his paper and glanced toward the kitchen. He had been home for four minutes already. How come dinner was so late?

To keep his pants up!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

I loved that joke book. After all, what is better than making people laugh? And who is admired and respected more than people who make other people laugh?

So, I really enjoyed perusing another joke book I happened to pick up the other day. This joke book is produced by the state of Illinois. It is called “Illinois Rules of the Road.” And it is a real belly-buster.

It has some hilarious one-liners.

Here are just a few of the many side-splitters contained in “Illinois Rules of the Road.”

“In a business or residential area you must give a continuous turn signal for at least 100 feet before turning,” the books reads.

Whoa! Good one!

“When two vehicles on different roadways arrive at a four-way stop intersection at the same time, the vehicle on the left should yield to the vehicle on the right,” another section reads.

Get out!

There’s more: “A driver must yield to oncoming traffic when making a left turn.”

“Do not operate or permit to be operated any sound system... at a volume that can be heard 75 feet or more from a vehicle being driven on a highway.”

“Driving is a privilege and a responsibility.”

Oh, man! This book is killing me! Who writes this stuff?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.





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