Letter: Cat Grandma to the rescue
Updated: April 3, 2013 7:08PM
To the Grey Lantern:
Call me Cat Grandma. I am a super hero, too. As Cat Grandma, I bring wrongs to right. You know the texting fool in front of you who doesn’t move when the light turns green? I, Cat Grandma, am the one who uses her horn to get the line moving.
Surely you are aware of people who lose their doggy’s doo on a neighbor’s lawn. I, Cat Grandma, return it to the owner’s front porch. Yes, I admit it, I’m partial to kitties, so when dogs roam the forest preserve bike trail unleashed, I confront the owner’s behavior, no doubt preventing devastating accidents.
You’ve seen trucks on the expressway with signs, “How’s my driving? 1-800-report me” ? I, Cat Grandma, have prevented countless accidents simply by calling: “He’s speeding, he’s in the wrong lane, he’s weaving in and out of traffic and he just cut me off.”
The greatest super hero action that Cat Grandma has done lately saves countless citizens from the lies of politicians. I have developed a bright green slime that bubbles out of their mouth whenever a lie is told.
But of all Cat Grandma’s past exploits as a super hero, none can compare to what awaits her in the world of the Internet. Especially saving innocent children. Yes, even grandchildren need to be set right. So take heed addicting games and social media sites, Cat Grandma is watching carefully. There seems to be no end for Cat Grandma to bring wrongs to right in the digital world, especially for those so fully absorbed that they put their lives and those of others in jeopardy. But never fear, Cat Grandma is near and I … excuse me, while I answer my iPhone.
Mary May, Glenview