Morton Grove Champion

Just tell me: Which pizza has the best ideals and beliefs?

Story Image

Paul Sassone

storyidforme: 34574395
tmspicid: 1865095
fileheaderid: 1151740

Updated: August 8, 2012 3:02PM

So, let me get this straight:

If I am to stay true to my ideals and beliefs, I should not shop at, or buy goods from, any merchant who does not share my ideals and beliefs.

Is that right?

OK.

Now, does that mean I should not buy from a seller who does not share all my ideals and beliefs, or only some of my ideals and beliefs? Or one of my ideals and beliefs? If not all, then which ideals and beliefs? Do some have higher point values than others?

And how am I to find out what the ideals and beliefs of merchants are? Do I ask?

Hello, I’d like to order an extra-large, thin-crust pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms.

“Anything else?’’

Yes. Do you support Obamacare?

If the pizza guy gives the wrong answer, then I guess I cancel the pizza and call other pizza places until I receive the right answer.

That could be a lot of calls. And I may end up with a pizza that doesn’t taste as good as the pizza from the guy with the wrong ideals and beliefs.

What about businesses that are part of a larger corporation? Must the salesperson have the right ideals and beliefs? The store manager? Or the president of the company?

If the answer is president of the company, then I may have a big problem buying anything. I doubt many corporation presidents and I share ideals and beliefs.

No, this political screening process throws a monkey wrench in just about everything I do.

What are the ideals and beliefs of my grocery store? My barber? The big and tall store?

And what about the ideals and beliefs of foreign businesses? I drive a Honda. What does Honda believe?

There is only one thing to do, as I see it.

Someone needs to publish a “Guide to the Ideals and Beliefs of United States Businesses.’’

This guide would list every business in the United States and every foreign business that does business in the United States. The ideals and beliefs for each business would be given.

That way, we could learn who agrees with us and then decide to buy from those businesses or not.

We would need to know, of course, the ideals and beliefs of the business that publishes the guide.





© 2011 Sun-Times Media, LLC. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied or distributed without permission. For more information about reprints and permissions, visit www.suntimesreprints.com. To order a reprint of this article, click here.